How Triggers Can Be Teachers
Most people think of triggers as the enemy. A trigger shows up, your emotions spiral, and suddenly you feel out of control. It can feel frustrating, embarrassing, or even shameful. But what if I told you that triggers are not proof you are failing? They can actually be teachers.
What Is a Trigger?
A trigger is something in the present that reminds your nervous system of a past experience. Your brain and body respond as if you are back in that moment, even if you are safe now.
This is why arguments can make you cry uncontrollably, or why someone’s bad mood might leave you feeling anxious or guilty. It is your survival brain trying to protect you.
Your body floods with emotion, your heart races, and your prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your brain that thinks logically and calmly, goes offline. In that state, it is nearly impossible to problem-solve or reflect clearly.
Triggers Show Us Where Healing Is Needed
As overwhelming as they feel, triggers often point to parts of ourselves that still need attention.
For example, if you learned as a child that it was your job to cheer up a parent, you may feel highly anxious around anyone who is upset. As an adult, that survival pattern can get triggered again, even though you no longer need to take responsibility for other people’s emotions.
A trigger can highlight that old wound. It is a signal saying, “This part of me still needs care.”
Learning From Triggers
Healing does not mean you will never be triggered. It means you learn to respond differently when it happens.
Here are a few ways to work with triggers instead of against them:
Notice the trigger. The first step is awareness. Can you pause and recognize, “I am triggered right now”?
Calm the body. Before you can think clearly, you need to regulate your nervous system. Try deep breathing, grounding, or movement.
Reflect with compassion. Once calmer, ask yourself what the trigger might be pointing to. What does this reaction remind you of? What part of you still needs healing?
Choose a new response. With practice, you can replace old patterns with ones that align with who you want to be today.
Final Thoughts
Triggers do not mean you are broken or weak. They are opportunities to see what still needs healing. They show us where old survival strategies are still running the show and invite us to choose differently.
The next time you are triggered, try shifting the story. Instead of thinking, “Why am I like this?” remind yourself, “This is a chance to learn about myself.” That shift can make the difference between feeling powerless and feeling empowered.
You’re already doing the work by being here. If this resonated with you, share your thoughts in the comments or join our newsletter for more insights from Triggered But Thriving.
With care,
Sarah
